The Art and Neuroscience of Managing Up: How to Build Better Relationships With Your Boss
Practical strategies and science-backed insights for navigating tricky manager dynamics.
Why Managing Up Is a Critical Leadership Skill
Whether you’re stepping into a new leadership role or reporting to someone newly promoted, navigating the relationship with your boss is often one of the most overlooked success factors. As an executive coach, I frequently work with high-performing professionals who find themselves challenged not by the scope of their work - but by the dynamics of working with the person above them.
Sometimes your boss is a great communicator. But often, they’re not. You may find yourself reporting to someone who’s unclear, controlling, long-winded, hands-off, or even insecure. Whatever the type, your ability to manage up will define how effectively you can perform and progress.
Understand Your Role and Execute with Precision
When entering a new role, clarity is everything. Work proactively with your manager to define your scope, objectives, and success criteria. Even if they are unclear, initiate the conversation.
Michael Watkins, author of The First 90 Days, emphasises the importance of the early period in any leadership transition. It's a time to build credibility, align with expectations, and lay the groundwork for trust.
Practical tip:
Schedule a goal-setting meeting with your boss. Bring a draft plan that outlines what you believe your responsibilities and priorities are. Invite feedback and alignment.
Learn What Drives Them - and Deliver on It
Think of your boss as a key stakeholder or even a client. What are their biggest goals? What keeps them up at night? Understanding their agenda helps you align your work to support their success - which in turn supports yours.
The neuroscience of empathy backs this up. When we feel understood, our brain's social reward systems activate. By recognising and anticipating your manager’s needs, you build trust, loyalty, and influence.
Practical tip:
Observe how your boss communicates and makes decisions. Are they data-driven? Intuition-led? Short-term or strategic? Mirror their preferences in your updates and proposals.
Tailor Your Strategy to Different Boss Types
Bosses come in all styles. Here’s how to adapt:
New in Role: Align expectations early and check in regularly.
New to You: Build rapport fast. Ask about their leadership style and priorities.
Poor Communicator: Use structured updates and written follow-ups.
Insecure: Provide support and visibility without threatening their authority.
Indecisive: Present options with clear recommendations.
Hands-Off: Take initiative, update regularly, and clarify key decisions.
Long-Winded: Steer conversations to the agenda with respectful clarity.
Control-Freak: Share detailed plans early and invite collaboration.
Managing up is not about manipulation - it’s about mutual effectiveness.
Use Neuroscience Influence: The SCARF Model.
The SCARF model (Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Fairness), developed by Dr. David Rock of the NeuroLeadership Institute, helps explain why certain interactions succeed or fail. These five social drivers shape how people react:
Status: Acknowledge their expertise.
Certainty: Offer clarity and timelines.
Autonomy: Propose options instead of just flagging problems.
Relatedness: Build connection through shared goals.
Fairness: Be transparent in communication and decision-making.
Using this framework when managing up creates psychological safety and reduces defensiveness.
Final Thoughts: Be a Source of Value
The best way to manage up is simple: be the most effective colleague your boss has. That means aligning to their goals, being easy to work with, and delivering results.
This isn’t about being a yes-person. It’s about leading from wherever you sit - and building relationships that support success across the organisation.
Ready to Lead Upwards With Confidence?
Whether you’re navigating a tricky boss dynamic, stepping into a new role, or preparing for a leadership transition, I can help.
Through executive coaching and tailored leadership development, I support professionals to:
Build credibility and trust quickly
Navigate challenging relationships at the top
Influence with empathy and strategy
